Get What You Want by By Mastering The Art of Touching People’s Lives with Stacy Rolfe
“Sometimes it takes so, so little to make another person happy or feel good.” -Stacy Rolfe
In this episode Shirley decided to do something a little different. She wanted to share some love and kindness in a chaotic time. Her guest Stacy Rolfe is just the person to do that with. Sadly, there are many dark stories out there about animal neglect and abuse. Stacy shares about her accidental rescue of miniature horses and what these minis teach us about love and hope. Shirley and Stacy also discuss how to show support for your partner’s passion and how little things can create the biggest happiness. Don’t miss out on this heart-warming episode!
01:48 The Accidental Rescue
09:14 How to be the Perfect Passion Partner
13:55 The Weight of Letters
19:13 Little Things That Create Happiness
24:14 The Art of Touching People’s Lives
29:32 Share the Love to Animals
Calling out all hippophiles and ranchers! Listen in as @SfbaldwinOwens and Stacy Rolfe share a heart-warming story of miniature horse rescues and lessons we can learn about touching other people’s lives!
13:04 “How we're being in our relationship is how other people react or act towards us.” -Shirley Owens
18:29 “If we can only help one person once in a while, it just makes it all worth it.” -Shirley Owens
20:58 “It doesn't matter who the person you're filling in for. It's just that someone was counting on you so you have to go do the job.” -Stacy Rolfe
22:08 “Sometimes it takes so, so little to make another person happy or feel good.” -Stacy Rolfe
Connect With Stacy:
Stacy Rolfe is the Owner of R&R Ranch Minis, a haven for rescued miniature equines. The mission of the ranch is to increase public awareness in owning and taking care of miniature horses. Undeniably, these minis are cute, too cute that owners treat them as kids toys, often resulting in the needless suffering of these creatures. With increased understanding, the lives of both the owner and his pony could greatly improve. Stacy’s next project is having a couple of selected horses to be trained as certified therapy horses. She hopes to provide the excitement, joy, and that unique barn experience that only comes with being around horses.
Watch it Live!
Shirley Owens: My guest today is Stacy Rolfe. She is the owner and chief snuggler of the R&R Ranch in a miniature horse sanctuary.
Stacy Rolfe: Thank you so much, Shirley, I'm happy to be here.
Shirley Owens: Thank you. I'm super excited to have you. I normally focus my show on getting what you want because it's the Get What You Want Podcast. We usually talk about people who have gotten businesses through obstacles and all the things that they've gone through, and I want to do something a little bit different to you today because I was on social media and your site just happened to pop up. There was a sweet video of a miniature horse Martha who is running around, moon walking, jumping, playing, and it just made me smile and I thought, what an awesome bright into my day. And so I wanted to bring you on my show to do that for our listeners, because I know the world is kind of dreadful, there's just like these gray clouds everywhere. And so tell me first who you are? What do you do? And how it was that you came to want the life that you're living right now.
Stacy Rolfe: Well, it's, that's kind of a complicated story. It's a long answer, and I'm going to try to really abridge it for you. When my husband and I built our house, we were lucky enough to find a piece of property that was large. And my daughter is an equestrian, always since she was little. And so after we started to build the house, I said: "You know Dave, I think there's enough room to build a barn. Why don't we build a small barn and bring Belle's horse [inaudible]. Her first pony, why don't we bring them home?" Because she was at that age where she has outgrown both of them and therein lies part of the problem with owning a horse in the first place. So we thought, you know what? Let's build a cute little two stall barn and let's bring them home and life will be good. Okay, so that was the plan. My daughter, who a lot of people who follow us know her name is Belle. She's 25 years old and helps me with the barn a lot. She said: "Mom, we should get a miniature horse." And I said: "Oh, my gosh, that would be fun." So she went online, Craigslist, she found two, and we bought them. They were about six hours away, the person drove them in, and they were two years old, and we were their fourth owner.
Shirley Owens: Wow.
Stacy Rolfe: I try to let that sink into people when we tell people about horses. Being two years old and being transferred over to four different people in a very short time span is hard for any animal, let alone a horse. So it's not like we set out to do this. We did not set out to do this. I always say we are a very accidental rescue because this was not a grand plan. Our barn in our design phase went from two stalls to four stalls, to five, to seven, to nine.
Shirley Owens: Wow.
Stacy Rolfe: And as we are, we have 24 horses living at home with us and they're all miniature, they're all rescued, they all have their own individual stories, and we did not set out to do this. We are not, like, my husband couldn't even tell you, well, he probably could tell you what the mane is on a horse, but he just doesn't even know anything about horses. So this was not like he and I are, Oh, let's go do this. It just was a thing that occurred. We got those two horses and a very nice woman that owned them, In fact she cried when she left them and I promised her I would take good care of them. We stayed in touch. And lo and behold, she called me six weeks later and she said: "Stacy, I'm at an auction. And there's a little mini here with her baby, and I think they're going to sell them separately. They may sell them together, I don't know." And I said: "I can't help you out if two. I didn't even want two, I wanted one. All I can do is hope that they go to a good home." So you see, Shirley, when horses go to an auction, whoever's the highest bidder gets the horse. It doesn't matter if they have horse experience or not. Doesn't matter if they want to buy that horse. And if it weighs 150 pounds and they want to put 150 pound person on it, it doesn't matter. It goes to the highest bidder. So I really had a hard time that night thinking about this horse that I never even saw, and the baby that may be separated. I called her the next day and I said: "Mary, has that horse been sold?" And she goes: "No, not yet even started." I said: "Okay, is there any way you can send me a picture of what she looks like?" And she said: "Well, let me see if I can find someone who has a phone that takes pictures." And I said: "Okay." So I received a picture and it was one of the serious looking little horses that you could imagine. She had no life in her eyes. Her little body was holding up a child who was on her back, that was two and a half times too heavy to be on her. His feet were almost touching the floor. And I said, without asking my husband or talking to him, I said: "Mary, I don't care what you have to bet. Make sure I get that horse and her baby, I will take them." So we did. So we got her, and if you were to see the transformation of her coming to us, her condition when I saw her and the condition that she bloomed and blossomed to be. it's pretty remarkable to see what care, and love, and maintenance on a horse does for them.
Shirley Owens: Or anything for that matter.
Stacy Rolfe: And that's it, that's the point. I tell people because we provide tours of our barn every month. And I said: "We're no different than the humane society. And when you go to pick out a dog and they're barking in there, and they're obnoxious, and they're maybe sitting in the corner, they're scared, they are waiting to bloom. That's not their true picture. And these forces that we get, it's not their true picture. They're still unfolding and they're waiting to blossom." So we went from not having any to having two in a span of six weeks, for unintended four in a span of six weeks.
Shirley Owens: Wow.
Stacy Rolfe: And then later that summer, we took two out of a field that were going to be, they were being raised for carnivals, they were going to be pony ride ponies. We're not real big fans of pony rides so we were able to convince the owner to sell us these two girls, unbeknownst to us, both were pregnant. So now there's eight on our hands.
Shirley Owens: Wow.
Stacy Rolfe: It just happened. And more horses came. And when we heard their stories, we learned of them or whatever it is, we have blossomed to 25 horses.
Shirley Owens: And a beautiful ranch. I haven't been there, but I've seen your website, and I've watched videos of you. I believe it's your daughter and your dog walking the mini's down the road, I don't know, it just brings so much joy to my heart. I don't think that this is just something that, I mean, it did, it was something that just happened. But in order for something like this to happen, there has to be some sort of relationship that you have with your husband to be in on it, a relationship, I mean, financially there had to be someplace for you guys to be able to, you know, just have this happen. And so speaking to that a little bit, your husband, I saw a post that you had put about him. And I think that was actually the one that actually got me. And it was a kind of a funny anniversary post about how he tells all the time, I really loved that. But can you speak into that relationship? Something that's super important for anybody who's really wanting to, go for their passion, or their dream, or to help people. What did that look like? What did that look like for him? And how was that relationship that would allow something like this to just keep happening.
Stacy Rolfe: Well, that was an anniversary post. We've been married for 33 years and I feel like I have someone in my life who truly is a partner. He has no interest in horses whatsoever, but on the times when I'm in the barn or I have to go up there and check one of them and it's late, I say: "We go to the barn with me?" It's always, yes. And he'll go up to the barn and it's nice that he can support my passion for this. Isn't even a passion that I've had since I was little. Okay, I really didn't even know much about miniature horses. It is nothing but a miracle that they have survived with me when I brought them home because I had to learn. But Dave, my husband has always been, it sounds very trite to say that my husband has always told me whatever I want, he's going to give me. Whatever I want in life, whatever I want in the world, he's going to do for me. And that is so gracious of a person to feel that, giving to another person. And I try to be that way to him. He loves cars, I honestly don't like cars at all and I get aggravated. If he's got cars, in my words, junking up the driveway because they're not in a garage, they're not put away, but you know what? It's what he loves. So when I think to myself, who am I not to let him enjoy what he wants? I married this 12 year old kid, basically, who still wants to go ride bikes and play matchbox cars with his friends, you know? He does what he wants, he's got a beautiful garage and he loves these old vintage cars. And I don't say, don't do that, whatever. That's what makes him happy. Barn, animals, and the horses, and having a bunny sitting at my feet right now while I'm talking to you. We just support each other.
Shirley Owens: So I did not even know that this was going to be part of our topic today because I like to not really learn about people until you get here so that I can learn along with our guests, but I wrote a book called Get What You Want from Your Man, and a lot of my book, I think I could learn things from you. It sounds like what I try to teach and that is for how we're being in our relationship is how other people react or act towards us. And a lot of the book has to do with that type of thing. So that's super awesome to hear that you have that type of relationship where you both are supportive of each other's passions, whatever they may be. And it sounds like he didn't know what he was getting in you all those years, it just happened. And I think my husband probably feels like that with me too a lot. And my husband is also a 12 year old boy with his motorcycles and bikes. And you know, just all of that. I think we all marry that when we marry a man. So I love that you embrace that and support it. And you're super smiley when you're talking about him. And how many years did you say you've been married?
“How we're being in our relationship is how other people react or act towards us.” -Shirley Owens
Stacy Rolfe: 33.
Shirley Owens: There you go. This is like my love story posts. I love that so much. I think that really what I see in you and what I'm getting from you is really all about love and nurturing. Whether it be the minis, whether it be the dog or the bunny, which you probably needs to just pick up and show us all now that you've talked about that. But I think that, wow, what a beautiful thing to come out of this. I was trying to think I just want to interview her because I love what she's doing. And I love supporting things that are good in the world. And now I'm really realizing that there was a lot more to that, which is we don't always know what we want until we know what we want.
Stacy Rolfe: And sometimes I think it just finds you, it just finds you. And I didn't seek out having all these forces, I didn't seek all this publicity with Martha, and how just introducing her simply on my Instagram page captured the heart of everyone. Literally everyone, it just happened. And I still shake my head over how things have changed with the world. I just read a letter this morning that somebody from Connecticut sent me, have been doing something weekly called reading with the horses where I just read a book for children. And because I think that a number of reasons kids are home right now, they're bored, it gives them something to do, maybe they can turn on and watch and be with us for half an hour, 45 minutes. There's nothing that we do that is ever, anything a parent would have to worry that their children's sees or hears. So we thought it would be a nice thing to do. And it's also nice reading with the horses that kids get a little exposure to horses, and you never know what kind of curiosity you can peak and find that loving spot that a child might have towards a horse. But anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I did a thing where I taught kids how to write a letter, because I think that that's a long lost art, sending mail and getting it in the mailbox. And so I was trying to do just a tiny little part in the world of helping kids think they can write a letter to someone and it can be really, really joyful to get a letter back in the mail. So they sent a letter to me, I sent them a letter back to them, and it's been fun. I've had a wonderful response from that and I've really enjoyed these kids, but I also had a letter from an adult that I just got and I read this morning, and it honestly brought me to tears. It wasn't even a sad letter, it was just that you can reach people, you don't know what's going on in their life. And the fact that somebody took the time to sit down and write me three pages of very light level writing, you know what I'm saying? It wasn't a deep story but that just had a big impact on me.
Shirley Owens: I bet.
Stacy Rolfe: It does.
Shirley Owens: Yeah. I get that once in a while. And I know sometimes you just wonder what you do at all, and I'm sure that you find a lot of rewards just from the animals themselves around you, from the beauty of your ranch and all of that. I can imagine, I just close my eyes and imagine being there. But I think sometimes we just wonder, like, what's this all for? And then one person can send you something or write something. I actually just had, this happened to me yesterday, somebody from my high school contacted me and he needed help. He didn't know who else to turn to and he had seen that I was kind of in the health business so I just made it a priority to contact him and to give him an hour of my time, and he wrote a big post this morning on my Facebook. I felt like, wow, if we can only help one person once in a while, it just makes it all worth it. I really see, with you, I just feel all of this love, and nurturing, and service, and what a blessing. And I'm sure that you get tons of blessings coming back to you because look what you've created through that. So I feel like that's a really big lesson for people to learn, especially right now, you know, there's just so much hatred, and fighting, and uncertainty in the world. And I just really wanna bring light and love, and I think this is the perfect place to have it, and you are the perfect person for me to interview today. So tell me, have you always been this person, or is it something that you've learned over the years, or is it you've just become? What advice would you give our listeners today for them to maybe just see things in a different way just for today to move into that direction of love and service?
“If we can only help one person once in a while, it just makes it all worth it.” -Shirley Owens
Stacy Rolfe: I think, yes, I have always been this person. I've always been what many would say about a young child, you call them an old soul in that way. I wanted to be with my aunts and uncles. I wanted to be with my parents' friends when I was young, when I was little, I wanted to be with them. I wasn't like an interruptive kid, but I could carry on a conversation. I wanted to be with my teachers, I wanted to help them, it was just me. I was always an animal person from day one. My mom and dad, my dad worked all the time, running his business. My dad, which is important that my dad owned a trash hauling company. So my dad, when it was snowing, it was freezing temperatures, and it was a small startup company, it was my dad who would be gone in the middle of the night making sure all the trucks were started and they were running so that when the drivers got there, they had trucks to get into and the brakes weren't going to freeze up. And if a driver didn't show up, it was my dad who got on that truck and picked up trash. So I learned that those are the things that you do. It doesn't matter who the person was that you were filling in for, it's just that someone was counting on you, you have to go do the job. And my mom, on the other hand, who stayed home with us allowed us our animals. And we had dogs, and cats, and we had bunnies, we had Guinea pigs, we had all these things. So I was raised with animals, and I was raised with volunteering back in the day when a young child could volunteer without a parent. And I was 9 or 10 years old and I could be dropped off, and I would clean dog runs, and all of that at an animal sanctuary. Now you can't do that unattended, but I still have a scrapbook of dogs when they were going as pet of the week. I would write a little story under it and I would say: "Oh, you know what? I love Smokey because he was always so scared." And I was so happy when he got adopted. It's just who I am. I think that if people realize that sometimes it takes so little to make another person happy or feel good. I hear this all the time when people message me on Instagram or Facebook, whatever it is when they message me, and I respond to them a lot of times. I hear, Oh, my gosh, I can't believe you wrote me back. So I guess there's a lot of people out there that don't respond to messages--
“It doesn't matter who the person you're filling in for. It's just that someone was counting on you so you have to go do the job.” -Stacy Rolfe
Shirley Owens: For sure.
Stacy Rolfe: --to me, like, why aren't you responding? I get it if you're a celebrity or whatever, you probably have hundreds or thousands of messages. But for those of us who run accounts that don't have that deep layer, respond to them. And my daughter, she always tells me, she's like: "Mom, this is not normal. This is not usual. I have so many followers that I have never met and I know a lot about them. I know a lot about their life, their history, their health, and there's certain people that have really struck accord with me as much as I feel like our ranch or me have struck accord with them. And I have been known to reach out to some followers to say, I haven't heard from you in a while, are you okay? And I'll get back, I've been in the hospital, I've had this or that. And it's because I know their health issues, I have sent gifts when I hear from someone and they tell me these stories, nobody asks for anything and I've never been asked for anything. But if Martha means so much to them, then I can send them a little more to sit in their home. I can send them an ornament to put on their tree." You know, just different things that when they respond, it's like they've never received a gift before in their life.
Shirley Owens: I think that the art of touching people through any type of physical means through a gift, through words, all of these different ways. It's just like the letters, it's just lost in time. I am much like you, I feel honored that I can even say that I could be like somebody like you, but I too was raised with animals and have worked at a lot of rescues. I used to work with large cats, and it was very rewarding to see the animals really appreciate who you are to them, any type of animal. The one thing that I feel that we can learn from animals is unconditional love. It doesn't matter what you do to them, it doesn't matter what condition those horses came to you, they still have so much love to give. And we, as people, I feel could really benefit from realizing that we can create whatever we want in our lives, we can create whatever we want to be, and we really can get what we want from other people and not in the sense of worldly, but to get what we want in the sense of knowing that people are feeling peace, that they are feeling love, that they're feeling compassion. We have that ability to create that with a single thought and you are pretty famous. I mean, from what I see, you are a celebrity in your own world. And I think that the fact that you still take the time to do that, to reach out, and Martha is special. I really encourage every single person listening to go to your website, and we're going to give that at the end of the show, just watch the videos of how much hope and love was given to this little mini who didn't have much. She thinks she has grown horse legs now, and it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. It has brought tears, and I have laughed and I've played it for, I don't even know how many people. I'm the same way, like I don't really interact with many of my followers, I mean, I interact with my followers, but I don't interact with people that I follow very often. I don't spend a lot of time on social media, but it's something like that when it just grabbed your heart and then it grabbed your heart again, I was like, I have to have them. I have to have them on my show, I have to help in whatever way that I can help. And this is my gift to you is to be able to put it out to my listeners so that people can see who you are, feel inspired and hopeful from what you're doing. I'm just so grateful for you to be here today. Can Franklin come on our show? Franklin is the cutest bunny.
Stacy Rolfe: So Franklin is a dwarf [inaudible] and he is almost one year old. He's a baby. He's a very good representative for, he's my third bunny. The first one was an easy going, but I had her for the longest, almost seven years. The last one that I had, his name was Walter. He just turned one when I lost him very suddenly, which happened with rabbits. But Walter had been very mild-mannered from the get go, not so much Franklin.
“Sometimes it takes so, so little to make another person happy or feel good.” -Stacy Rolfe
Shirley Owens: I can tell.
Stacy Rolfe: And so Franklin is a really good representative that people can see, and people see his videos and they see him come when he's called, play with the dogs, and this, that, and the other. But Franklin has been a lot of work. It takes a lot of work to really socialize them into the kind of relationship that people want to have with bunnies. He did not come easily and magnificent, I mean, he's just a great, wonderful, awesome, amazing little bunny, but he's way more indicative of what people get than Walter was, anybody in the world could pick him up, carry him, hold him, whatever. Franklin is much more of a typical bond that you've got to work with him.
Shirley Owens: Yeah.
Stacy Rolfe: He gets out with me when I'm in the house, and he runs around wherever he wants to in the house. He is perfect with the dogs, with our cats, comes when he's called, has his own room and provides a lot of comic relief.
Shirley Owens: I'm sure.
Stacy Rolfe: Yeah.
Shirley Owens: Oh, my gosh. He's so cute. Well, that's just another thing that speaks into your nurturing because I don't think any of us think of a bunny being able to come up to a dog, or play with the cats, that type of thing. So thanks again so much for being here. Please tell us how we can get in touch with you, your Instagram, your Facebook, your website, and any type of thing that our listeners can do to help out the R&R mini ranch or miniature horse sanctuary.
Stacy Rolfe: I know it's a mouthful. So you can find us just about anywhere, our website is randrranchminis.com.
Shirley Owens: Okay, perfect.
Stacy Rolfe: And then our Facebook, and our YouTube, and our Instagram is on randrranchminis. So you can find us anywhere. YouTube is interesting for our followers because it is totally different content than what is on our other social media pages. It's much more background information on the horses. So people have really found that background information on bunnies, and dogs, and blah, blah, blah, but it's very different contents. You can find this just about everywhere. We do not ask for donations, there is a place on our website that offers it, but there is a disclaimer with it. And the disclaimer is that we know that there are a lot of places who could use donations more than we could so we always suggest that people find a local organization that could really use some help financially on the very few donations that we do get. It is a way that people say, I just want to do something I love, what you guys do so much and that's why it's there. But we always suggest that there is somebody else who could probably use it.
Shirley Owens: That is so kind of you. Well, all of you out there who are animal lovers and those of you who are not animal lovers, in fact, there's probably nobody that's not animal lovers, but all of you, go to this website and just go to the Instagram, watch the videos, no matter what you're doing in your life, you'll be inspired to want to serve, and love, and nurture, and give. And that's what I wanted the show to be about today, and you just fit so perfectly into this, Stacy. Thank you, I'm so grateful that you are here, and I will see you soon. I'm going to take a trip out one of these years when we can leave our state and come visit your ranch.
Stacy Rolfe: We would love that. Thank you so much, Shirley. It's been just wonderful talking with you.