Reflection- Get What You Want By Taking Care of Yourself - re convo with Kim Sutton
“If… it’s putting a drag in your day, be integral with yourself.” -Shirley Owens
Today, Shirley reflects on the most neglected essential of our lives…. self-care. There’s always something to do, someone to serve, people who need you. So how do you remain efficient and productive, while making sure your needs are met too? Shirley gives some practical suggestions on how you can say “No” with grace and say “Yes” to getting what you want.
01:15 Self-Care- The Most Neglected Essential
04:24 Self-Care In Its Real Context
06:15 Be Productive while self-caring
08:30 How to Say “No” with Grace
09:25 Maintain Your Integrity and Reap the Benefits
Keep your integrity and reap the benefits. Join in as @SfbaldwinOwens reflects on what self-care really is and how to be productive. #getwhatyouwant #integrity #self-care #sayNO #schedule #BeEfficient
07:43 “We can benefit and can actually do more when we schedule in self-care time.” -Shirley Owens
09:25 “If… it’s putting a drag in your day, be integral with yourself.” -Shirley Owens
Connect With Kim:
Kim Sutton is a Marketing Automation Mentor, Infusionsoft Expert, Launch and Branding Strategist and host of the Positive Productivity Podcast. She is also a wife and a mom of five. Kim has been an Interior Designer for nearly 10 years in prestigious firms in Chicago, New York City, Greenwich, Connecticut, and Ohio. She thought she had been living her dream life until she went down a downward spiral. As she learned how to navigate successfully through life, she was able to get back up. Now, she has found her purpose and passion: helping entrepreneurs to live a positive and productive life.
Shirley Owens: Hello and welcome back, on Tuesday, I had a conversation with Kim Sutton, and I have to say that's been one of my favorite combos, and one of the reasons is because I have learned so much from that. That conversation was actually recorded early on when I first started podcasting, and I definitely can attribute the fact that I am still doing this to some of what I learned from Kim.
So let's just start off with self-care. Definitely something I have not been very good at over my life, especially while raising young children while raising teenagers and now I'm raising young children again, so pretty much not in a very long time. And I loved some of the things that Kim said because right when I was first talking to her, I had just started podcasting, I was working on starting another two books for my publisher, and I had a lot of things just going on such as I'm writing articles for magazines, and I had some live shows, live news shows that I was on, and it was just really a stressful time. Plus I love being a mom, I love being a wife, I love taking care of my house, and cooking, and meal planning, and being a grandma, and all these different things that I do love to do. I wasn't being good at anything, or at least not great at everything. So I learned some stuff from Kim that day that it was okay to get my groceries online and delivered to the house, enlist my children in doing some chores, and hiring out things that I couldn't do myself or that would take up way too much of my time as far as my podcast and my book went. So I started doing a lot of different things, like getting a housekeeper, and I have a virtual assistant, and I live by a calendar, which again is not my favorite thing to do, but I started really figuring out a way to fit in every single thing that I want to do and still be efficient with what I really needed to be efficient with.
I think about my husband Jeff, he is always efficient. If he says he's going to do something, he does it. If he says he's going to be there for a certain time, he's there. He gets stuff done, something comes up, he just gets it done. And that hasn't really always been my personality, I've been a bit of a procrastinator, and I think that it's because I've been so overwhelmed. And when I learned how to schedule things out, live somewhat by a calendar, and make sure that I even scheduled time in for myself, I was able to become more efficient too. I think that it's super important to learn this, and we hear about self-care, and I think in my mind I'd always thought that it was take a spa day, or make sure I get my nails done, or get a massage, that type of thing. And some of those things are not something that I would normally do. So what I realize for me, self-care is just taking an hour and laying out in the sun, and enjoying the sound of the birds, and closing my eyes and meditating a little bit, and just kind of finding a little bit of a happy place where I can have some peace and relaxation. Another thing I love doing is spending time with my daughters and my granddaughters. So I started scheduling one day a week on Wednesdays for four hours where I would dedicate my time to spending with my girls, and I still do that, and I love it so much. I would not trade that time for anything. Sometimes we have to reschedule or something comes up for them because my daughter has two daughters of her own, and my other daughter is a gymnast at ASU, and then we have, the little daughter who is still in school. So it doesn't always work out that all of us can spend time together. But there may be days where I spend a couple hours with one and a couple of hours with another. But that's been something so important to me. Date nights with my husband are so important to me and we do that at least once a week. So I think that it's just important to know that whatever it is, it may not be a spa day with the girls, it may be something like going camping or taking a bath. Oh, yeah, taking a bath, that's one of my favorite things too. So I will do that almost every night, that's my self-care for the daily thing.
But now we're looking at the productivity side. And Kim talked a lot about hiring out other things like for your business. So I hired a virtual assistant, and realized that I could never have done this without her, I love her so much. And it's been so great to be able to have something, just like this reflection that I do to be able to sit down when I have a few moments, put some thoughts out, and then just send them to her to be able to put my intro/outro on, and pull it together, and make me look good, and I love that. I don't think I could do it as well as she does, and I can't mow my lawn as well as my landscaper. I might be able to, but it's going to take some learning and extra hours out of my day, out of my life, and I would have to figure out a new trait. And I feel like I'm always trying to do things like that. I'm trying to be on my website right now, and I'm probably going to have to eventually give in and just let someone else do it for me because it takes up so much of my time. But I have gotten really good at scheduling out the times when I do these, the times when I do my interviews, I have my two interview days a week, and I don't schedule on any other days. I have my Wednesdays that I spend with my girls, I don't schedule anything else on that day. I have my date night with my husband, I don't schedule anything on that day so we really benefit and can actually do more when we schedule in self-care time.
“We can benefit and can actually do more when we schedule in self-care time.” -Shirley Owens
So I wanted to leave you with that and just think about, what is it that helps you to self-care? Are you seeing too many yeses? That's another thing, I've always said yes to everyone, and then I'm frustrated, or stressed out, or impatient, or intolerant, and I feel it was because, it wasn't because I didn't want to say yes to them because I really do want to give all of my time and energy to everyone. But what I realized was I do have to say no sometimes, and I don't have to be mean to say no. I can be super kind and loving and say, Hey, I really can't do it on this date, can I do it on a different day? Or I can't do it at all? Can I help you find someone that can do it? That's been a huge, huge thing for me. Prioritizing what is super important to you, and again, going back to my reflection a couple months ago when we talked about what fills your tank, what empties your tank, find more things that fill your tank than empty your tank. Do those things. If someone asks you to do something for them, or if there is something that needs to be done, and it will fill your tank to do it, absolutely, figure out how you can do it. But if you are dreading it, if you are just thinking, I don't want to do that, and it's putting a drag in your day, be integral with yourself, be open with whoever or whatever you've committed to, and just make a new agreement. Just switch it up. Say: "I'm sorry, this doesn't work for me." And then figure out what would make it work for you or don't do it. That is a huge challenge, and I want to challenge all my listeners to just find one thing this week. One thing, something that's dragging you down, something that feels horrifying to have to do, and figure out a way to not have to do it by honestly and out of integrity. Figuring out how to have it done, or how to say no, or hiring someone else to do it whatever it takes to not have to do that one thing. That is my challenge for you this week. I promise you, when you have that off of your shoulders, you will feel that feeling of self-care, and then you'll crave more of it.
“If… it’s putting a drag in your day, be integral with yourself.” -Shirley Owens
I love you all. You are amazing. I just found out this week that I am in 14 countries and on four continents, and I really, really hope that there is a difference being made in the lives of at least one of my listeners, anybody from all of these great guests that I've had on my show, and from Kim who brought to light for me, self-care, productivity, hiring things out, getting things off on my plate, and really doing more of what I enjoy. So do that this week. I love you all. Thank you so much for listening, and I will see you on Tuesday.