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  • Writer's pictureShirley Owens

Reflection- Get What You Want By Being 100% Committed - re convo with Jamie Damsker

“When you look at all your thoughts during the day… so much awareness is made… and all the positive thoughts start coming in or the intentional thoughts that you’re creating from a place of truth and fact.” -Shirley Owens

We are thought-generating machines and meaning-creators as well. Over 95% of our thoughts aren’t even real. Our story is created through our thoughts. So what part of our story is real? Tune in as Shirley discusses 4 steps of a thought process. How we can better control what we allow in and how we work through simple things that complicate our every day.


01:28 Thought Circles

06:30 True and False Thoughts


What makes up your thoughts during the day? Join in as @SfbaldwinOwens shares an interesting chapter in her book about realizing how much of our thoughts are real. #getwhatyouwant #thoughtcircles #positivities #intentionalthoughts #awareness #trueorfalse


  • 06:49 “When you look at all your thoughts during the day… so much awareness is made… and all the positive thoughts start coming in or the intentional thoughts that you’re creating from a place of truth and fact.” -Shirley Owens

Connect With Jamie:

Jamie Damskeris a Public Speaker and Leadership Coach. His professional life began with a distinguished career as a US Air Force Military Officer and Aviator Fighter in aircraft. Upon leaving the military, he found opportunities to make profound impacts on technology, deployment and strategic consulting for clients in both the public and private sectors. Jamie has led men and women in combat, earning the Distinguished Flying Cross as well as other awards. He helped build consulting verticals into multimillion-dollar businesses and facilitated international corporate acquisitions. Jamie left that behind when he came to realize his true passions are public speaking and coaching. He enjoys creating laughter and insights in public speaking engagements and in a more intimate coaching relationship helping clients live into their own dreams.


Shirley Owens: Hello and welcome back. Last Tuesday, I had a really good conversation with a good friend of mine, Jamie Damsker, and we covered a couple things. One was, we talked a lot about commitment, and I encourage you to go back and listen to that because I don't think that I could say it much better than we talked about on the last episode, but it's super important, if not the most important thing in your life to learn about how to completely commit to something and what comes from that. So the other thing that we've talked about, and we just touched on it was our thoughts. And it reminded me of a chapter in my book, and I wanted to expand on that a little bit, and maybe a little bit more simple of a way.

So I want you to picture four circles. The first circle would be what happened. And so that's going to be like any event in your life, school, a trip to the store, a divorce, a wedding, anything that happens, just any type of event, whatever's going on in our daily life is what happened. And that's just filled with truth, fact, anything that's just a basic what happened. The second circle is what we say about what happened. That's going to be our story. It's going to be where our ego, inner seeds, the voice in your head, the meaning of what happened, Jamie had mentioned that were thought producing machines. And I would even go one step further that were meaning producing machines. So this is where we attach meaning. So we have what happened and now we have what we say about what happened. And this is what I like to call chatter. So after the chatter comes, the emotion. And the emotion is basically how we feel about what we say about what happened. So this could be elation, happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, whatever the emotion is that is attached to the story about what happened. And then our last circle is the reaction, which is how we react to how we feel about what we say about what happened. So for an example, let's talk about divorce since that's been a part of my life and a part of many of your lives. So two people get a divorce, they were married and now they're not married. There was a legal certificate. There's some type of illegal process to render and no longer valid, and that legal structure is gone. So we have two people that were married and now they're not married. That's really the only truth, in fact. So that would be first circle.

Second circle is they both have a story. They both have a list of reasons why their divorce happened. They want to protect their own egos. So according to the story, he may be a jerk, or she's crazy, or he never tried, or she got possessive, or he played too many video games, she spent too much money. You could honestly go on and on about this. But whatever conclusions are drawn and the social conditioning that comes in, a story is created by both sides. So that's where that second circle, where the chatter is, where you know there's this whole thing that you make up in your mind that has to do with the fact.

So then the third circle is the emotion that's attached. How we feel about what we say about what happened. So we know what happened and we know what we said about it, and now, she's sitting there lonely, he's angry, frustrated, or vice versa. So we have this emotion that's attached. What are they going to do with that emotion? This brings us to the fourth circle, which is the reaction. So he may go out to parties every night to get rid of all his negative energy, and she might leave the country and hope to avoid experience the pain, they might shut down, they may lash out, like there's all these different things that how they could react to a situation. And that's the fourth circle.

Really the only real truth out of all of it is that there was a marriage and there's not a marriage. So this happens a lot, just like our daily stuff like our arguments, what I like to do, and what my husband and I do often is, if something comes up for me and I feel like, he's, I don't know, I can't even think of a situation right now, but if something comes up and you're frustrated because, say he left clothes on the bathroom floor and in my mind I think he knows I don't like clothes left on the bathroom floor. Why would he do that? Oh, he must be doing it just to make me mad. Okay, well I'm going to be mad about that? You know, blah, blah, blah. Instead of going through all these different emotions, I will just say, Hey babe, I've got some chatter that's coming up for me. I found some clothes on the bathroom floor. Did you leave them there on purpose? And I'm like, Oh, you know what? I sat those there and thought about putting them in a laundry and just totally forgot, whatever, and situation's cleared up. I know that's kind of a silly thing and hypothetical, but we can do that with all of the things in our life.

So all of our thoughts, when Jamie and I were talking, we were talking about how 3% of our thoughts are actual truth and fact. And then the other 95 to 97% of our thoughts are just made up stories that we've been conditioned to have occur in our heads. So when you can look at all of your thoughts during a day and actually kind of think like, what's the fact? What's the truth in this? And what am I just making up so much awareness is made and you just can have a completely different thought process. And then all the positive thoughts can start coming in, or the intentional thoughts that your creating from a place of truth and fact. So I either just be aware of your thoughts this week, and what are you making up? What is part of a story? And what is the actual fact of the matter? I would love to hear your thoughts on that, your real thoughts, or whatever thoughts actually come up for you. But it's awesome when you can start to really be intentional about what you allow in your mind, what you allow to control you, what you allow to even enter, and then what does enter, and you can be like, Oh, that's just a story. That's just a distraction. That's not truth. I should probably check up on that. And if it is somebody, and your interrelationship, because that's what we're all about is relationships, talk to them, tell them that something's come up, call it chatter. It makes for a way better conversation, way better communication, and way less arguments.

“When you look at all your thoughts during the day… so much awareness is made… and all the positive thoughts start coming in or the intentional thoughts that you’re creating from a place of truth and fact.” -Shirley Owens

I love you all. I'm so grateful that you're here. My listeners are expanding throughout the world and this is so much fun for me. So please give me your feedback. Tell me what you're learning. Tell me what questions you have, and go create the rest of your week. I'll see you on Tuesday.

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