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  • Writer's pictureShirley Owens

Reflection- Get What You Want In Your Relationship- re convo with Alexandra Stockwell

“If we are seeking each day to be a conscious partner, we can only have growth in our relationship.” -Shirley Owens

Do you ever enter a relationship wondering “what can I get out of this”? Or do you go into it wondering how you can love and serve, without expectations? Today, Shirley reflects on how you can be a conscious partner and how you can help bring out the best version of your partner. Listen in and learn more about how to get what you want from your relationship.


01:44 The Right Way to See Your Relationship

02:24 Conscious Partnership

03:09 From Frustration to Flourishing Relationship


Get what you want in your relationship. Listen in as @SfbaldwinOwens reflects on how to approach your relationship in a place of love and service. #getwhatyouwant #love #relationship #consciouspartnership #happycouples


  • 02:28 “If we are seeking each day to be a conscious partner, we can only have growth in our relationship.” -Shirley Owens

  • 04:45 “If it bothers you, it’s about you.” -Shirley Owens

Connect With Alexandra:

Alexandra Stockwell is a Physician turned Relationship and Intimacy Expert, known as the Relationship Catalyst for over two decades, first as a doctor and then as a Relationship Coach. She's been guiding men and women to bring pleasure and purpose back into all aspects of life from the daily grind of running a household to successfully growing a business to creating ecstatic experiences in the bedroom. As a wife of 24 years and a mother of four, she believes the key to passion, fulfillment, intimacy, and success in a relationship isn't compromised, it's being unwilling to compromise. Because when people feel free to be themselves and know how to love and be loved for exactly who they are, relationships become juicy, nourishing and deeply satisfying. Alexandra helps build, connected and happy families are facilitating healing and transformation for couples.


Shirley Owens: Hello and welcome back. Today, I'm reflecting on my conversation with Alexandra Stockwell. I have to say that she really had me reflecting on myself. We had a super fun conversation, but it was also the first time someone has gone into how they see me and why they were even being my guests in the first place. So that was kind of really kind of her and I loved it. At the same time, it just made me start to think, what is it that she saw in me? I've been super blessed to not have a lack of guests for sure. And that was one of the things that I was warned about was that getting guests would be my hardest part. So this was interesting for me to hear from her about what attracted her to me. So I've been asking myself what it is that would have me be seen like that. And one thing that I do know is that I don't go into any relationship thinking what can I get out of this? I go into all of my relationships thinking how can I love? How can I serve? How am I showing up? How am I being? And I don't need others to be anything but themselves for me -- except them. And that was something that Alexandra said, so it made me feel really in alignment that someone else would see in me what I am hoping to be and that I am. So that segway to us into her theory of conscious partnership, which I loved. It opened me up to a new phrase and I think it is such an awesome thing. So if we are seeking each day to be a conscious partner, to love, to serve, being fully aware of who we are being, we can only have growth in our relationships.

“If we are seeking each day to be a conscious partner, we can only have growth in our relationship.” -Shirley Owens

She also mentioned that everything can be used as a connection when you choose to relate as a conscious partner. So even the hard stuff can turn into something positive. We talked about a couple of common frustrations in a partnership like socks on the floor, or my little story about hair in the shower, and how we could use those situations to actually have growth instead of allowing it to bring us down. So what are the things you are frustrated with in your relationship? Is your partner doing something that drives you crazy? What would it take for you to approach the situation from a place of love and service? How can you show up for your partner that would have them wanting to show up as the best version of themselves? Have them wanting to change that behavior or even better? How can you show up from a place where no matter what their behavior no longer bothers you? Wouldn't that be cool?

If it bothers you, it’s about you.” -Shirley Owens

This week I would have you look into yourself. Who are you being? What are you wanting to be right about? Are you wanting to be right? Are you seeking to fill your ego and pride? Are you seeing the behavior that they're doing as wrong because it's different than how you would do it? Are you the partner who is willing to have a simple conversation about whatever it is that bothers you? I heard someone say once, if it bothers you, it's about you. Wow. That has stuck with me for a really long time and I've put it to test, why is that bothering me? Oh, yeah, it is about me. It's about something about me that I'm not getting, or not liking, or whatever it is. If it bothers you, it's about you. Is it about you? What would it feel like to fully love and accept your partner right where they're at? To not want to change them, to be the person that inspires them to live every day as the best version of themselves, consider that. That is my gift to you this week. I thank you all for being here with me and I love you so much. Thanks for listening and I will see you next week.

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